Förlåt mig
En liten confession jag skrev den sjätte juni, precis innan jag fick veta sanningen på Waynes, en café på stan.
I thought you were the best thing, next to sliced bread. I imagined our future together as if I would never do anything to willingly destroy that picture, as I always do with my life. The only thing stopping me from being happily ever after with you is myself. I somehow forced myself to like someone else. It’s a goddamned curse, for christ’s sake. My mother has something similar too, all the men she’s ever been in love with, she hates with a passion after a while. This forces her to go into a feminist state-of-mind and starts thinking that there is something wrong with men as a whole. The day I met you, I was just forced to visit my dear oblivious friend I was unrequited in-love with so I can support my disgusting habit of liking someone else when someone likes me.
People keep on talking about how wonderful you are, how you would be my first really great boyfriend and all I want to do is to pretend to myself that I would like you more and more. I know that so many want to be in my place instead and that you’re practically all I ever wanted in someone but why doesn’t my heart skip a beat everytime I see you? Why can’t I hear the drumming noise inside my head that should start when you’re around? I’m actually pretty sure I’m a masochist, I break my heart on purpose. I like this guy that has just recently accepted me as a friend. It took me three years and I know that he still is uncomfortable with me.
But I’m still going to try, don’t you worry. This sick teenage mind of mine shall change for the better. You might be my saviour from this evil plague. You might be my prince charming.
I will forget about my new friend and he shall remain an acquaintance.
People keep on talking about how wonderful you are, how you would be my first really great boyfriend and all I want to do is to pretend to myself that I would like you more and more. I know that so many want to be in my place instead and that you’re practically all I ever wanted in someone but why doesn’t my heart skip a beat everytime I see you? Why can’t I hear the drumming noise inside my head that should start when you’re around? I’m actually pretty sure I’m a masochist, I break my heart on purpose. I like this guy that has just recently accepted me as a friend. It took me three years and I know that he still is uncomfortable with me.
But I’m still going to try, don’t you worry. This sick teenage mind of mine shall change for the better. You might be my saviour from this evil plague. You might be my prince charming.
I will forget about my new friend and he shall remain an acquaintance.
whoa
Sommar del I
